Why the long face?

So, it’s been a while, and I appreciate that you’re back here reading the continuing saga that is my life.  I wish it were under better circumstances, but I digress and I’ll just dive right into it.

As you may have guessed, or have already heard or been told, the cancer is back for me.  But just as it was the first time, it’s only temporary.  I’ve known about this for a little while, but didn’t want to put it out there in full until I knew all the details.  The original cancer that was removed in 2021 is still gone; this bout is technically a new development, even though it’s roughly in the same general vicinity, and still considered colorectal cancer.

It started out mid last year under early warning detection by a specific test that compares your new blood to DNA from an older cancerous specimen of your own (they had taken a portion of my original cancerous area in 2021 to compare in the future).  It showed that there was some form of the cancer back in the original area.  From then, my team of doctors put me through a couple of colonoscopies, a PET scan, and an MRI, in order to determine where any new cancer had developed, what all will need to be taken out, and how close it might be to what was done before.  {As a side note, I figured out that my mind does not appreciate MRI’s and the tight space you are put into which caused me a panic attack, so I had to medicate just to get through it!}  Also, along the way I had what I thought might have been a painful case of hemorrhoids last September, but turned out it was a new tumor that had escalated into an abscess.  I had to go to the ER where they drained it and did a biopsy on it, and low and behold it was deemed malignant and was causing further issue (more on that below).

This time, fortunately as far as I’ve been told, I won’t need to go through radiation or chemotherapy treatments (this could change in the future).  However, unfortunately there is surgery involved that is a bit more life-changing than what I had already gone through in 2021.  And I have a newer team (combined with some of the original very fine team of Stockton doctors) which include a surgeon at Stanford University who will be doing my surgery (my previous surgeon has since retired).  Apologies for those who are a little squeamish, but the following is what will have to be done:  He will be removing the remains of my anus and rectum, and essentially “closing up shop” down there.  Also, as mentioned above, the tumor on the inside of the buttocks will need to be removed as well.  So, because of all that, he will need to install a colostomy, which this time, as opposed to the temporary ileostomy I had (and was put back) in 2021, this one will be permanent.

This is a lot, I agree.  And I’ve been putting on a good face about it for a while, but the truth is I’m full of anxiety.  I realize that is pretty normal, as this is how I felt the first time, and everything ended up turning out just fine.  And that’s what’s going to happen this time as well; I have a good feeling having been given a great deal of confidence from my new surgeon, as well as my very insistent and loving girlfriend who assures me everything is going to be ok!  The surgery itself will be taking place at Stanford Hospital in Palo Alto this coming Thursday March 14^th.  I’ll likely be staying there for about 4-5 days, in which I’ll be closely monitored, managing the pain until I’m good to go without needing powerful IV pain medications, and making sure the colostomy works as it should.  Once I’m released to go home, there will be a period of recovery of course, that will last somewhere between 6-8 weeks if all heals as it should.  Also helping will be periodic in home nursing care, making sure my wounds are healing correctly, and helping to regulate my colostomy to the point where I’ll be able to take care of it by myself.  I’ll be returning to work Monday April 8^th, if I’m up for it, which going off of my previous recovery I should be fine.  My new-ish job working for the State of CA is thankfully mostly work-from-home, and my boss and team know that I’ll be easing into it, as they are very empathetic to my situation.  In that I feel very blessed.  Along with my work peers, I have my loving family and plenty of great caring friends to thank profusely for their unending support.  I couldn’t get through this so well without y’all, and I am eternally grateful to be on the receiving end of it.  And of course, Kristine will be “handling” me at home, being the trooper she is in both her mental and physical support of me.  I’m already sure I’ll be in very good hands, in which I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay.

That all being said, if anyone in the area would like to visit me at Stanford Hospital in Palo Alto post surgery, I would say please let me or Kristine know by text or email (best ways) or call if you’d like, and we can figure out the best days/times (I should be available for visitation between 8am-8pm for all 4-5 days I’ll be there though maybe not the first day as I’ll probably be pretty out of it and/or sleeping).  I do want to include though that over this next week I will be quite busy with preparations, transportation and in general time-consuming tasks that may make my communication with any of you a little bit delayed.  Never fear, I promise I’ll get back to you in time, and I ask you to please be patient with me. Just as well, I will try my best to update this site once all is good to go, and my surgery is completed.

Please feel free to check this website as often as you’d like, if you are curious about current events or even past ones to get a feel for what it was like back in 2021 as well. You can comment on any entry, and I promise I will see and address any questions you may have. Also, you can sign up to get alerts when this site is updated (see the right side of the home page). I promise it won’t be too many, and certainly NO spam. Thanks again for reading this, you are all VERY important to me!